Today I was horrified to realize that I fit the ‘soccer mom’ cliche to a ‘T’.
Step 1. Drive a mini van. *check*
Step 2. Pack it full of kids. *check, check and check*
Step 3. Actually take them to soccer practice. *check*
Step 4. Dress in yoga pants (even though you are clearly not someone who does a lick of yoga). *check*
Step 5. Have a thermos full of coffee (or starbucks, if you’re feeling fancy) to keep alert. *check*
Step 6. Race out of the parking lot at breakneck speed while calculating (down to the minute) how much free time you have. *check* (I have 1 hour, 23 minutes left on my clock).
This week my kids are signed up for ‘British Soccer Camp’ which is put on by…you guessed it…some British dudes. They are all very cute and charming (who am I kidding, I have no idea if they’re cute or not…all they have to do is talk with their adorable accents and my eyes cross)…this morning as I dumped my children off on the curb, one of the coaches came up to my window to tell me they were moving fields. As I drove the kids to the correct field, I started thinking about what these British guys go home and tell their friends…”Yeah, in America…that ‘soccer mom’ deal is an actual thing!
My only saving grace is that I do NOT have the ‘stick family’ bumper sticker on the back of my minivan…so far I’ve dodged that bullet. Maybe when I roll in to pick the kids up today, I’ll have the windows down and the music blasting (with some music that highlights the amazing sound system in my Grand Caravan)…just to let these guys know that soccer mom’s still know how to rock it! Like they care~haha.
I’ve worked with this awesome family for a few years now…mom and dad make some dang cute babies…so I’m always excited to see them! Thanks for coming all the way out here for your newborn session…your new little man is just perfect
His daddy likes golf…
Big sister is gorgeous…wowza!
Today is my birthday. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster and my life is about to start zooming down the hill at break-neck speed. 35 years old. I’ve been using the standard ‘I’m 29′ line for a few years, and I think we all know that ship has sailed. 35 is just SO close to 40…scared! Luckily, I have a job which connects me with a ton of amazing photographer friends, many of which have been on this roller coaster longer, and I can clearly see that they are still rocking. So I will try valiantly to hold my head high and embrace 35, and thank the good Lord that I’ve accomplished a few things during those youthful, glowing, radiant, carefree, wrinkleless years. Maybe the next 35 years will be even better…they say 40 is the new 20, so maybe I’ll have more fun in the future than I did in college (which seems highly unlikely, but it’s worth a shot)!
The other day, I made a seemingly, innocent, off-handed comment on my FB fan page. As my birthday loomed, I was feeling old and sorry for myself, so I made a joke and was immediately slammed by some seriously sensitive people. Woah. Here was my comment:
Either teenagers are brushing up on their manners, or I’m just getting old…because in the last few days, I’ve gotten 5 different emails from high school girls that all start out with: “Dear Mrs. Klatt,” Yikes~just call me Kelly…or Kel…I’ll even accept a ‘hey you’! Save your ma’am’s and your Mrs.’ for someone who’s not still pretending to be 29.
There were a few immediate scathing comments along the lines of, “If you want to eliminate manners in our youth, then you might as well just pray for the end of times right now.” I may have paraphrased a bit.
But seriously…maybe some of ‘fans’ don’t understand my culture. In Minnesota, a lot of women are mildly offended by the phrase ‘ma’am’, and don’t like to be called Mrs.___ because that is their mother-in-law, not them! Ma’am=old lady. I know, it’s odd, but it’s how we react. We don’t mind ‘Miss’…”excuse me, Miss, I think you dropped something“. It’s not that the teens that I work with have bad manners or poor etiquette…exactly the opposite, which is why I get my panties in a twist. Strange, but true.
And while we’re on the topic of offending people (which I may have a knack for), I did an interview with Seniorologie, (huge honor, btw) and I made a horribly tacky comment (#shocker #nofilter #randomhashtaguser), which I’m sure many will find fault with. Just know that it was said as a joke~those interview questions can get a bit tedious, and I wanted to keep the readers awake~haha! If I’ve learned anything in 35 years, it’s that people need to laugh more, and chillax. Unless your job is serious (ie: brain surgeon), then you better just stick to the facts and leave the funny business to people lower on the totem pole.
It’s so much simpler to let it all hang out on my blog…not so judge-y over here. It’s my happy place.
Speaking of happy (as always, my gift for segue’s is astounding), this sweet little newborn session makes me happy. Two weeks new, and as sleepy as can be…he is such a cutie! Love the strawberry/blonde hair! I love the shots of big brother too…he wasn’t a huge fan of being that close to his new brother…his grumpy faces cracked me up!
Forgot to add this: Here is the picture my dad texted me this morning. This is probably only really funny if you know my dad (who is not the most technical person in the world). He subscribes to the audio version of facebook (meaning, my mom tells him all the latest status update scoops, so he doesn’t have to get an account himself). But here he is, texting pictures and making me laugh~thanks dad
The speech I was supposed to give last night, but didn’t:
Hey everyone~what’s up!?!<insert awkward wave
> Thanks so much for coming out to the Senior Model ‘Reveal Party’ here in the VIP lounge at River City Extreme
<shameless plug, like you guys didn’t know where you were sitting
> I wanted to explain a little bit about what you’re about to see. I chose 12 beautiful girls (from Buffalo, Monticello, Rockford & St. Cloud) to represent my studio and be the ‘face’ of senior portraits for Photography by Kelly Klatt <I probably wouldn’t have said my business name out loud, cuz it feels like I’m talking about myself in the 3rd person…acca awkward
After an obscene amount of winter, the day of our photo-shoot was bright and sunny <thank you Lord, I know you were tired of my endless weather themed prayers
>. We had 5 amazing stylists come from Lux Salon in Monticello
. I even made them do my makeup <and then proceeded to squint and/or guffaw anytime the video camera came around, thus shattering any positive effects the nice makeup would have had>
. We shot two different ‘looks’ (country/sporty), and the models completely rocked both looks~better than I could have hoped for! After a fun and exhausting day of hair/makeup/photography, the girls headed home, and I got busy in my ‘digital darkroom’<did anyone else’s mind wander when I used the phrase ‘got busy’?
>. I edited my favorite 50 or 60 images, and handed them over to Travis Johansen
(our talented videographer during the shoot) to edit the video. He knew exactly what I wanted (and then made it even better)! I absolutely love how the video turned out <I may or may not avert my gaze whenever my giant butt gets in the frame>.
But in all seriousness, I appreciate everyone who was involved in making this thing happen (Lux ladies, Travis, Sarah, Amy, Kris, the super models)…you all get an A+ <if I was the grading type…which I’m not, I’m more of the ‘oh kids, you have homework? Maybe your dad can help
**BTW** A lot of people couldn’t hear me last night (they should have given me a microphone, although the temptation to start free-style rapping would have been very strong)
, but I was trying to tell everyone that tomorrow (which is now TODAY, THURSDAY, MAY 23rd) is the only day I am having a sale on senior session fees. 35% off the session of your choice. Contact me and I’ll send you more info right away: email@example.com And while you’re at it~make sure to be following my FB PAGE
to see all the latest sneak peeks from recent sessions!
Without further ado
Senior Model Shoot 2014 from Kelly Klatt on Vimeo.
DIRECT VIDEO LINK
My favorite shot from our day:
“Allright girls, show me ‘bored’”. Nailed it.
practicing our ANTM skillzzz
Just a disclaimer…no models were hurt during the climbing of this giant fence…but being a mom and a worry-wart I did protest a few times. Yikes!
Phew, we made it~just set a record for most pictures in a blog post ever.
My Lucy. 10 1/2 and already full of teenage ‘angst’. I am so scared for middle school. I have it on good authority that kids in middle school are insane. Some of the stories I’ve heard…the drama, the meanness, the self-mutilation(WHY?)…I’m not ready. Thankfully, I have one more solid year of grade school before the storm of puberty hits us full force. About a month ago, Lucy told us that she put a tooth under her pillow and didn’t get any money. I made up some excuse, and she kept her tooth under her pillow for another night. The next morning (after the tooth fairy forget again…aka: no cash in the house) she came downstairs and told me, “Well, I’m going to need some money for that tooth.” Excuse me? I tried to explain that after the magic was gone, so was the cash. She knew the truth, but she wasn’t about to leave without proper compensation! So for now, we’ll hang on to these last lingering days of straddling childhood and adulthood. Dang, now I’ve bummed myself out.
This past Saturday was supposed to be a wash-out, but it was actually a beautiful day. I noticed a patch of lilac bushes along the side of the road while we were driving home from soccer and I told Lucy that we should run out there and get some pictures. She was game, and I rounded up a few props and off we went. I love when things all come together with zero planning or foresight…even though we got busted trespassing…I swear this was on a nearby church’s land (it’s in the bible that church property is fair game…Ephesians 2 v1…(don’t really look that up)), but nope, it was some nice lady’s land. Thankfully she was cool…but I’m happy that it was just me and my daughter and not a client. Not that I make it a habit of trespassing with clients in tow…promise!
And yes, I realize my editing is all over the place on these…I was having fun playing around in photoshop
Backstory: For those that don’t follow me on FB…I’ve been having a little marital ‘spat’ with my husband over his new desire to raise chickens (the long and short of it: I don’t want them, I think they’re gross and kind of scary….but I DO want a deck ((and an above ground pool!)) so I flippantly made a deal with Kor this winter and told him that if he let me get a pool/deck, I would allow him to raise a few chickens. Fast forward a few months, he does indeed order the chickens, so I get on the horn myself and put a deposit down on a pool….now the chickens have taken over our lives and I still don’t have a deck or pool)…I know, such a sob story!
This chicken raising business is getting out of control. Let’s do the math, shall we? Korey ordered 6 baby chicks. They gave us 7. Okay, I can handle that. Well, then one dies, which brings us back to 6. Korey feels saddened by the loss of the bonus baby chick so he orders SIX more. 6 plus 1, minus 1, add in 6, carry the 1, multiply by 4, numbercrunchinghasneverbeenmystrongsuit. Where was I? Oh yes, TWELVE chickens. Honestly, he might as well just order a donkey while he’s at it (I had originally written a really hostile ‘ass’ joke here, but deleted it, because I still want my husband to like me).
Not to mention the coop building process. We have been in our house for seven years without a back deck. Not that there’s anything wrong with having a sealed up sliding glass door in your dining room, it’s just time for a flippin deck already. There’s always been some other project or lack of money that’s gotten in our way…well, just when I thought we had reached that magical spot, (year 7), he up and orders chickens. Within 1 day of ordering the chickens, he has brought home loads of lumber and recruited his father and brother-in-law to build the coop. When is he going to realize that MY priorities need to be his? He obviously needs to brush up on his wedding vows (where he promised to love, honor and always say ‘yes dear’, no matter what the situation was).
And then…the straw that broke the camel’s back (oooh, we should get camels)…I recently purchased a mini-refrigerator for the studio. I keep it stocked with pop/water/juice, etc. I told one of my clients to go ahead and help themselves. She opened up the refrigerator and sitting right smack dab in the middle of the fridge, is a large container of worms. For the baby chicks. Clearly, Korey has gone off his meds if he thinks that my client refrigerator is an ideal location for bait storage.
Ahhh, thanks for letting me vent! Today I’m sharing pictures from one of my favorite family’s…I’ve been working with them for years…I love these guys! I was going to put their recent 6 month session up today, then I realized that I hadn’t blogged their last maternity/newborn/3 month session either, so we best remedy that!
Maternity session from last summer…
Soon to be ‘big brother’!
Baby ‘B’ is here!! Sweet and teeny-tiny
3 month session~on a chilly November morning~quick jumped outside for a shot in the snow!
6 month session~Sitting up and looking adorbs She might have been older than 6 months here…but we’re calling it close enough!
Love a man who can rock a bow tie! I found his 1 yr session…he was pretty studly then too!
Favorite shot of the day!
This weather is giving me ulcers. Sunday afternoon is the date of my senior model shoot, and I’ve been in panic mode ever since April, when it became clear to myself and all Minnesotan’s that winter was not nearly finished with us yet. Sunday’s forecast calls for rain, and depending on which station you listen too, it’s anywhere between 60% and 30%…seriously, this is the most boring blog post ever, I’m talking about rain percentages…why don’t I just go mozy down to the local hardware store where I can shoot the breeze and talk weather 24/7? I apologize…but the weather is ALL I can think about right now. Holy buckets, just glanced out the window and saw some pretty little snowflakes dancing about (puttingheadbetweenkneesnow). Maybe I should have a backup plan…wish my studio was big enough to photograph a group of 12 comfortably.
Well, I’ve completely bored myself…I assume you’ve all stopped reading and moved directly to the picture portion of this post…which is a wise move. A few weeks ago I shared this tween session with you. She is such a great kid, and a fabulous little model to boot…because I loved her b session so much, I had to share it with you guys. She’s e-l-e-v-e-n years old. I’m waiting for her to hit that awkward puberty stage, but something tells me she’s going to skip that whole painful period in her life…lucky!
She’s an amazing dancer, and we got this shot on the second take!
Warning: this blog post, like most, is not for young viewers…or for people with class or morals.
Tis the season for Bachelorette parties. I’ve worn my fair share of ‘member’ shaped accessories over the years…and sipped beer from many a phallic straw. Most of the bachelorette parties I’ve attended include a bus full of inebriated woman stumbling in and out of bars, their boldness made stronger by alcohol and the solidarity of their friends wearing matching ‘blinking dick’ necklaces. If you’re lucky, you get to attend a party that starts with games…these are alway raunchy and most often hilarious. Who doesn’t want to see their BFF with a hot dog tied around her waist humping the ground? I know I do. I’ve never been to a party that hires strippers…I imagine those are being thrown by rich women…and sadly, I’ve only befriended poor people (although, if hiring someone like Magic Mike was on the table…maybe one of us would have splurged). My sister-in-law had her bachlorette party while still in college, and we were treated to a drunk frat boy’s rendition of that ‘thong song‘…his thong included. I clearly remember him straddling my mother-in-law and putting his thong in her face… tears of horror and laughter streaming down her face. This is a woman who hasn’t skipped a Sunday church service in her life…I’m sure she’s blocked out that memory for her own sanity. My own bachelorette party was not nearly as gross or entertaining…but we were all 22 yrs old, and had no idea how to throw a proper party. I had about 9 or 10 girls come up north for a long weekend together. My mom came along under the ruse of ‘cooking’ for us…but I know she really came so that no one would over-imbibe and drown in the lake…she drove the ‘party bus’(aka: her mini van), and we had a fabulous time dancing with the townies. My girlfriends forgot any of the usual Bachelorette paraphernalia, and improvised with a wedding veil made out of toilet paper. I never felt so beautiful
The reason I bring up Bachelorette parties…was because I texted my friend Sarah to tell her that I had her images ready to view. She said she was in San Diego for a bachelorette party, and she would try and get to the internet in between their soak in the natural mineral spring hot tub & their facial and seaweed body wrap appointments. Whaaaat? The last Bachelorette party I attended was at the local legion. Clearly, I have made the wrong choice in friendships over the years (I kid, I kid, I wouldn’t change my friends for the world…well, maybe one or two, but only if I get that seaweed body wrap, that sounds delightful).
So here is Sarah and her kiddos for their ‘mommy & me, white bed session‘. Sarah might look familiar to many of you, she does all my ordering sessions. If you come do a portrait session with me, you’ll get to meet Sarah afterwards and she helps you decide what to order. Feel free to ask her about her about the luxurious parties she attends…I’m sure she has some good stories!