You know…sometimes life hands you lemons. In this case, my lemon was slimy and made my stomach turn. Let me explain. I make my kids do a few chores every day. It builds character…plus, if they didn’t, the kitchen floor might grow feet and walk away.
A few days ago my kids finished their daily chore of emptying of the dishwasher. I grabbed my clean travel mug from the cupboard and poured one of my (several) daily doses of caffeine. I sat down at the computer to sip my coffee and start a little editing. The flavor seemed off…but when you use as much powdered sweetener as I do, it’s sometimes hard to determine. I reached the last inch of my coffee, and took off the lid to throw the last sip down my throat. As soon as it hit my mouth, I knew something was horribly wrong. Choking and coughing I spit the large, slimy worm back into the cup. What the sam-hell did I just put in my mouth (I’m sure we’ve all said this at one time or another)? Upon closer inspection, I discovered a giant piece (like 2 inches long) of onion had somehow made it through the dishwasher, and landed itself securely in bottom of my coffee mug. Gag me with a spoon….or giant, stinky vegetable..take your pick.
Did that stop me from making my kids continue with their daily chores? Nope. However, I learned my lesson and conduct a through cavity search every morning on my mug.
Today on the blog…one of suspects who let the onion pass with no inspection…My six year old Riley. He is actually my easiest kiddo to take pictures of (even though we took these past his bedtime when the light was pretty, so he’s a bit tired)…he puts himself into random poses and gives me brooding looks…I’m sure you’ll recognize a little blue-steel here and there.
Oh, and speaking of slimy crap in your mouth…I took these last Friday night up in Alexandria…after drinking not one, not two, but three minnows in a shot glass. They were dead…and soaking in tequila, so there was no taste. I will obviously do anything to win a free t-shirt. However, my stomach was hurting during our little mommy/son session together. From now on, I shoot the minnow after I do portrait sessions. Yet another lesson learned. I hope ya’ll are writing these gems down.
I promised you bikini pictures of myself from our 4th of July holiday up in Alexandria, MN…but I don’t want to make ya’ll jealous, so I’ll just keep those for myself…maybe hang them on the fridge.
Usually when we go anywhere I bring my little point and shoot camera…well that broke, so I brought my big dog, but sadly, he only made it out of the camera bag about 3 times…so there are a lot of holes in our trip. Oh well, you get the gist….swim, tube, swim some more. Some of the pictures I didn’t take were some of our best memories…the guys slaving away trying to perfect their mojito’s…Korey and his Captain Morgan stance and the charming way he let us all know he was peeing in the lake…late night golf cart rides with only a flashlight ‘app’ to guide the way…grading the kids on how well they can pour a beer from the keg tap (Lucy and Sophie managed to get a few ‘A’s‘), the ladies beating the guys at ‘catch phrase’ every night. Good stuff.
This shot just epitomizes summer to me…the sunscreen ‘stance’.
4th of July Kids Bike Parade….if you look to the right of the fancy looking camper, you can see our camper…we named it ‘hilltop’…we call Korey’s parents trailer ‘mess hall’ (cuz that’s where the food is at), and Krista and Aaron’s trailer is called ‘swamp land’ (due to an unfortunate septic situation).
My niece had her face painted during the kids carnival (put on by the Klatt family and their rental business).
Highlight of the week was the new fancy pontoon boat that Kor’s parents bought…it’s huge and powerful…just like I like it.
Me and Krista…the only picture of me the entire week (isn’t that how it goes, moms?)…besides the amazing bikini spread.
There are 2 competing families that come to our resort every year and try and ‘one up’ each other in the firework department. It’s quite exciting when amateur’s manage to set off a huge firework on the dock instead of in the sky~yikes.
Okay, I’m back. We spent last week at the lake in Alexandria. I had good intentions of getting some blogging and editing done while I was up there…but a giant heat wave insisted that I stay glued to my floatie in the water, mojito in hand. I couldn’t fight it. I’ll share pictures soon…in case you are super interested in where I spend my free time….or what color my bikini is…
I am a sucker for peer pressure…when everyone was reading 50 shades, I had to read it (btw, my review on that book…Mr. Grey is way too PMS-y to be a ‘romantic lead’). When rumors started flying about Mike and his Magic-ness…I had to check it out. My thoughts. One: I’m kind of glad I never went to a ‘real live Chippendales’ show…I always thought it would be a funny thing to do with your girlfriends…but after seeing how these women acted when the guys were on stage, I was embarrassed for them. The strippers’ signature move involves wrapping ladies legs around their neck and bouncing. It made me feel the same cringy feeling I get when ‘the bachelor’ is on TV. Two: Chan (he told me to call him that) dresses in all kinds of fun costumes…police officer, swat team member, creepy guy in a trench coat, hip hop thug…and my personal favorite: construction worker. All of these costumes highlight his abs…so right there is $9 well spent. Three: It was better than Ted. That movie was a let-down…I assumed it would be ‘hangover’/'wedding crasher’/'bridesmaids’ funny…it was not. Maybe it’s one of those flicks you have to watch a few times to really appreciate the humor…like Napoleon Dynamite. Four: What happened to Matthew McConaughey? In this movie he is rather frightening with his fake tan, fake hair, and fake leather pants. His attempts at portraying a serious actor in this movie are seriously thwarted by the over-use of baby oil on his freakish 8 pack. I like Matt best when he talks about beef in his bedroom voice.
I give Magic Mike 2 stars…one for the dancing, and one for the stomach muscles. There you have it…my amateur movie review. My advice…wait for it to come out on Redbox…then watch Channing work the pole with the mute button on.
Allright…little combo of sessions from late last year…this post is all about boys! Today’s lineup: baby, dog, baby.
First up, this cute little 6 month old baby~love him!
Their Holiday card…
Next up…a puppy! I rarely do pet portraits…so this was a bit out of the norm for me…He was a busy beaver, but SO cute~I was tempted to steal him.
Last but not least~a sweet little one year old boy. He was very unsure of me and my studio at first…but it didn’t take long for him to warm up!
This kid DEMOLISHED his 1 yr cake. Never has a cake smash gone so…errr…smashingly?
A looong time ago, back when I was a young lass (and I had to walk barefoot to school, uphill~both ways)…we didn’t get to ride a bus to school. Nope, us Lutheran school kids got to carpool with the other Lutheran school kids in their mom’s station-wagons (this is before mini-vans really hit their stride). In 8th grade, I rode with Josh and Corrie….the three of us made up 45% of the 7th&8th grade class. Okay, that percentage might be wrong, but do the math on 7 kids, minus 3 in the station-wagon. What do you get? If you got years of counseling, than you are CORRECT!
Whoa, I lost track of what I was ranting about. Oh yes, buses. My kids go to public school + we live in the country=looong bus rides. Since we’re so far out, they are the first to be picked up, and the last to be dropped off. That’s a total of nearly 2 hours a day riding big yellow. Bus riding is an education that I missed out on as a child. I used to be upset about that…it always seemed like so much fun. When my kids started riding a few years ago, I convinced myself that the long rides meant they were learning valuable social skills….Instead, I think all they’ve learned is a bunch of inappropriate songs that happen to rhyme. At the tender age of 6, some of those rhymes just don’t quite click for Riley..a sample of some of his more innocent lyrics:
“Mommy and Brady, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love. Then comes the parrot. Wait, what? I think he got those mixed up…it’s ‘first comes the parrot, THEN comes love’. Duh. If he ever brings home a girlfriend named Polly– I. Will. Die.
Sharing a little newborn girl on the blog today…she was a perfect angel for her session. I love her long lashes, and her sweet little face…I believe I wanted to keep her. Her parents had a really fun maternity session that I blogged awhile back, you can see it HERE! ‘Rock the Drops’ used pictures I took of my tin wall and made it into backdrop…you can buy it HERE.
Love the surprised face below…I guess at only 1 week old, the world is one giant shock after another!
Tomorrow night I’m hopping in my DeLorean in a pathetic attempt to find ‘college Kelly’…who was slightly more exciting than ‘mom Kelly’. My girlfriend is getting married, and we are going to have one heck of a fun bachlorette party! Not Vegas fun. More like, small town fun. As in: rent a bus, pack your coolers, and bar hop all over southern minnesota. It’s happening. I should probably start hydrating now.
A few things differences between CollegeKelly and MomKelly:
*Upon check-in of the hotel…College Kelly would have just flopped face-down on the bed, claiming her side for the weekend. Mom Kelly would bring her lysol wipes and disinfect the place, after she stripped off the disease ridden comforter and put it in the corner of the room.
*When faced with a decision between chocolate desert or a couple of brew-ski’s…MomKelly would take her calories in desert form, every time. CollegeKelly would recklessly take both, throwing caution to the wind. Sometimes MomKelly wants to bit@# slap CollegeKelly in the face for the years of beer and food hoarding.
*CollegeKelly would be ticked if she woke up anytime before 11AM. MomKelly would feel nervous and guilty if the alarm clock said anything past 8AM.
*CollegeKelly never wanted to be carded….(can you blame her, her fake ID had long blonde hair and weighed 102 lbs soaking wet…it was always a nerve wracking moment when the bouncer would look at the card, then look at her, then back down at the card…smirk knowingly before letting her pass)…MomKelly practically weeps with gratitude when a bartender asks to see her license. Inside her ‘mom-mind’ she’s thinking, “yup, I still got it.” Which is ridiculous, because in college she never had any ‘it’ to begin with…
Ahhh…good times. I’d tell you to follow my adventure on Twitter…but sadly, no one has taught MomKelly how to use it yet. MomKelly understands facebook…but so does MomKelly’s grandma.
Here’s a young lass who has no fear…she’s on baby number FOUR! Wow~anyone else jealous of how amazing she looks?
Isn’t this little dude adorable? And I’m loving the little owl hat…I don’t typically supply animal hats~so she brought this one…but dang if I didn’t want to keep it!
Welcome to the crew!
Sorry for the crickets over here…I guess I’ve been distracted lately…we had to put our dog down last Thursday (blech), and then we headed to Iowa for my family reunion (btw, the kids have never been to Iowa, and they were pretty disappointed with how UN-exotic it was…I’m pretty sure they were expecting white sandy beaches and cold cocktails…instead, they toured some farms and floated in inner-tubes down a shallow river filled with jagged rocks).
Random awards ceremony in honor of dearly departed Mick 1999-2012
(Full name: Michgolden Light, after our favorite beer in college. Nicknames include: Mickerdoodle, Mickster, Old Man, Busy, Huff, Mr. Poops a lot, Michelob).
* Best idea ever: Having a friend bring your dog to the vet for you…that way you can weep in your driveway instead of in a sterile vet’s office (thanks Ian & Laura~we owe ya)
*Worst idea ever: Using the veterinary clinic that is located directly across the street from my husbands work (back story: for those who don’t know, our dog has been ‘working’ at Klatt True Value in Buffalo for the past 13 years~ with my hubbie, obv…so all the employees were equally heartbroken last week). Mick was due for a 10:30am ‘appointment’. At 11am, some of the True Value employees noticed Mick wandering around the outside of the vet clinic. Apparently, bathroom breaks are a dog’s last rights. Just when you think it’s over…the dog has one last crap in him. I could keep going with this…all. day. long.
*Best insensitive quote: Lucy… “Mommy, what’s your problem? Why are you crying?”
*Most direct question of the day: Brady…”Hey-where’s Mick…is he dead yet?”
*Most popular: That one goes to Mick…since he was a ‘working class dog’…he had quite a fan following. Nothing like having customers ask 264 times a day where your dog is to desensitize you.
*Lies we wish we could tell: “Kids, our yard is too small, so Mick went to live on a farm, where he can run free.” See folks, there are drawbacks to living in the country.
*Kind gesture that backfired: Korey giving Mick a delicious ‘last supper’ of Little Caesars Pizza. When a dog hasn’t eaten human food for the better part of 5 years…prepare for a lot of blowback.
*Favorite memories: The kids always sitting on him like he was a horse. The time he was diagnosed with ‘swimmers tail’ because he spent the better part of a weekend in the middle of the lake. The way he was endlessly amused with the following: balls, sticks, frisbees, & laser pointers. His fear of hardwood flooring. All of those embarassing times he tried to air-hump lady dogs…he never did grasp the mechanics of…errrr…how do I put this delicately?? doggy style. Ahh….so not delicate then…just checking. Just went through my files and found one of Brady riding his horse.
And now, for the always awkward segue from dead dogs into cute baby pictures. I have 2 baby boys on the blog today. Actually, I just did both of these guys 1 yr sessions, and now they are baby plan graduates! Sniff sniff…let’s cry through the memories together, okay?
First up, Mr. N and family…
Next up, Mr. M and his fam…
ho. ho. ho.
Well folks, I gotta run~the Schwan’s man will be here any minute, so me and the kids have to hide in the basement. Sometimes I don’t want chicken nuggets delivered every week ~ rain or shine.
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this while taking a heavy dosage of allergy medication, and can not be held responsible for anything said below. Strangely, I’ve run into every situation listed in the last week, so I’m feeling a little snarky!
Top 5 reasons to run from a photographer:
5. They place an ad on Craigs List that offers $200 for 8 hours of wedding coverage + an edited disc. It’s not a sweet deal…it’s a scam.
4. The only ‘website’ available is their facebook fan page. Really, couldn’t spring for the free blogger? It tells me they aren’t invested in their business.
3. A ‘friend’ says they found their passion, ran out and bought a ‘fancy’ camera, and now wants to break it in on your newborn baby. This is one of those times when you say NO! The words ‘break and baby’ probably shouldn’t ever be in the same sentence anyways.
2. Your classmate has decided to hang their shingle and wants to take your senior pictures. I don’t know about you…but I remember how crappy I was at my first job.
1. While planning your wedding…you come across a combo deal: photographer + DJ…and the DJ charges twice as much as the photographer…yikes!
Apologies for the crabby list. It’s not even funny…I think I’m in a funk. Perhaps it’s the whole ‘my dog is dying‘ thing…hmmm….I’m going to make it up to you now. How? Dang, I should be offering up free sessions or something after making you listen to the big whiny baby. But nope, that wouldn’t be good for business~instead I’ll show you cute kiddo pictures.
Which is almost as good as a free session.
This little princess has been a favorite of mine over the last 2 years…she couldn’t be any cuter if she tried I want a little girl with blonde ringlets of my very own. Where can I get one? BTW, this first outfit is from a clothing line called ‘persnickity’, isn’t it sweet?
First of all~thanks for all the nice birthday wishes on my facebook page…seriously, 4 yrs ago, I would have been lucky if I got a card from my grandma and a belated text two days later from my supposed BFF…but now, facebook makes us all feel loved for the day. And really, is there a greater gift than that?!
On a sad note, I got a call from the hubs yesterday about our dog Mick. He has a tumor or mass the size of a grapefruit (holy huge) in his tummy…and we have to decide when to put the old man down. He’s been part of our family for 13 years, we are really going to miss him I really wish that the vets would just TELL us when we have to do it. Can’t they say, “your dog is suffering, take 3 days to say goodbye, then bring him back Monday at 9am”? Is that the easy way out? I don’t like the feeling of playing God. He still seems ‘okay’ (relatively, he’s old and deaf and has major arthritis), and he still goes to work every day with my husband. So how do you just make the decision to end their life? If only Mickerdoodle could talk to us…isn’t there a pet psychic hotline I could call? Anyhoo…that news was a total buzz kill on my facebook lovefest. Did that sound self-absorbed? My apologies…just trying to lighten the mood!
I have a fabulous session to share today! I can’t believe I missed putting this on the blog earlier in the year…granted, we shot this in early Nov, which is still crazy season for photographers. So, now that she’s graduated, I’ll share her session!!
We went to a cool ‘junkyard’ in the cities, it was awesome…really wish it wasn’t over an HOUR away…bummer. Anyways, we had fun going from junk pile to junk pile finding cool ‘sets’ and props to use!
Last shot of the day…found this awesome suitcase laying on the side of the road…bonus~there were no critters living inside it!